The Toddler Conundrum

Hey there y’all. I must have time warped… I had no idea it had been so long since the last post. Welcome back! This topic is definitely a doozie!! As you all know, and perhaps some of you don’t, I am a first time parent and my kid is CRAZY energetic and strong willed. I mean this boy is me times a million. I know my mother is laughing right now and thinking “What goes around comes back around!” Yeah yeah mother! HA! That time span between 18 month and 4 seems to be quite the “adventure” . However it seems, in this household, we have been dealing with the terrible/trying two since this little man was 18 months, and it does not show signs of slowing down. I need all the advice I can get.

This wild child was quite the handful with two parents… and now its just me. For those of you who have known me for a while know that I am not a very patient person… so this has been pretty difficult for me. Henry is strong willed and super energetic. I mean the kid literally doesn’t slow down. Poor guy can’t even sit still long enough to eat most of the time. I have taken the time to try and run the energy out of him, but ALAS it doesn’t work 98% of the time. Not to mention the kid’s sleeping patterns are atrocious! He very rarely sleeps through the night. He falls asleep fine, but staying asleep seems to be the problem. He can’t even sleep still! Henry is so restless… I can’t imagine he is really even getting quality rest when he is down for the count. All this makes for one extremely exhausted momma…. Oh and let’s not forget potty training! Seriously my head would have exploded eons again if I would have let it. I have taken Henry to a child psychologist after Adam passed due to his escalating behaviors thinking there could have been a correlation, and thankfully that was not the case! That was wonderful news. Hearing the confirmation from the psychologist that she felt we were doing everything right to help him work through his behaviors truly provided me with the moral support I needed at the time. Here we are nine months later and we are still battling. Anyone else have a kid that seems to have bottomless energy and has horrible sleeping patterns.

Let’s talk about sleep… About a month after Adam passed, Henry started waking up at 2 a.m. and staying awake until five a.m. (my time to get up). He would come into my room at the same time every night. It got to a point where I finally had him sleep with me so that I could catch some ZZZs. Needless to say I created a monster. We are now having to re-train him to sleep in his big boy bed. Let me tell you… that is a real struggle. He would rather fight sleep that fall asleep in his bed. Maybe a little separation anxiety? The only thing is when we get to school there is no problems. So I am sure this is just a learned behavior/habit that we are going to have to break. There are no reinforcers that will keep this kid in his bed. Frankly, I need the evening time to catch my breath. Guilt sets in every time I have to fight him for hours until he finally passes out from exhaustion. I am always open to suggestions. I have tried melatonin, lavender oil, no screen time an hour before bed, white noise, etc. Nothing is consistent. Any Suggestions?

Although this development stage is quite the conundrum there are so many beautiful things that begin to happen. That vocabulary is really expanding. I get to hear things like ” I love you mommy” , ” That mac and cheese is so delicious.” Or the other day I wasn’t feeling well and he came over to me, rubbed my arm so gently and said, ” Oh mommy, are you feeling okay?” He just melts my heart. I see so much of his daddy in him! That brings me so much joy and comfort seeing those glimpses of Adam. I am so blessed to have this little man to ease the ache of the loss! Trust me he drives me up the wall too, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

K. Marin

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