“A Day That Will Live in Infamy”

Today marks a full 365 days that Adam has been gone. I would say that everything is okay and moving right along, but it isn’t. I am having to face the music yet again. It’s insane to think that we have traveled once around the sun and the most amazing man with the absolute best giggle hasn’t been here. Holy cow time flies! I feel like this title is quite appropriate given its historical meaning and how much it is true of our family.

Many of you didn’t know my husband, but he had an uncanny ability to make light of just about every situation. I mean it was kind of a super power. I can hear him now, “Drink some beer and have some good food and you will be alright”. I could go on and on about all the amazing things he said and did, but the biggest accomplishment he has was living his life! Adam never missed an opportunity to LIVE IT UP! His charisma and love of life really rubbed off on everyone that he came in contact with. I hope and pray that when he reviewed his life he was happy with all the events, the good and the bad. He taught me a very valuable lesson. You never know how much time you have so live it up. This day will forever bring sadness to our hearts because we lost someone so dear, but it will be a constant reminder to continue to live life! This day will forever haunt me until the day and die, and I am okay with it. Although Henry and I are moving forward with our lives, it doesn’t make any day any easier. We are continuously growing and learning how to cope and survive.

I chose this title because it was spoken when reference the attack on Pearl Harbor. I can relate. Oh before I get started, Adam and I both loved history. I mean our date nights consisted of WWII documentaries and wine! For those of you who don’t really find History as stimulating as we did, the attack on Pearl Harbor was a surprise. It happened early in the morning and caught everyone completely off guard. So many people lost their lives that day. I feel that describes this day for me. At 3 a.m. I was told that my husband was gone. Out of the blue he has a seizure and that was it. No goodbyes, no preparation, no closure, just gone. If you have ever experienced any kind of loss, THIS IS THE WORST! It leaves so many questions unanswered, so many details unknown, and so many memories unmade.

I wish I could say there is a magic word or something that would just make it all go away, but their isn’t. The reality is the pain is still there and sometimes felt stronger on the anniversary of death. Scratch that, it is felt stronger because you constant relive the feelings that you had on that specific day. It’s awful and exhausting. The good news is…just like every thing the hurt will become more bearable because we learn to live with it. This truly is ” A day that will live in infamy” for our family.

K. Marin