So Little Time

When we are young it feels as if a day last year, and a year is an eternity. We are reckless, wild, and take risks with every breath. When we age, and become more wiser…hopefully HAHAHA… we begin to cherish all the time that we have. We are just as happy being at home surrounded by loved ones and being comfortable. Some have to learn that lesson the hard way, and other are slowly taught what a beautiful, precious gift time really is. Given the events over the last 18 months, it is quite possible that you know someone who is experiencing loss. You are realizing how much you took that person for granted, or rather the time you had. That is a lesson I learned a little over a year ago, but I am not here to touch on that. I am looking at this from the perspective of a mom. So often are we waiting for the next word, step, developmental stage, that we forget to truly enjoy where we are with our sweet babies. This is not an easy thing to write, because it is bringing me to admit that I am guilty of this.

Ever since Adam passed away, Henry has begun sleeping ( well being in my bed) with me. As much as this was a comfort to me if was also my greatest annoyance. I know that sounds incredibly harsh, but I was having absolutely no me time. Where I was, there was Henry. I am talking separation anxiety to the max. I tried many times to get him to sleep in his fancy new dinosaur bed for a good part of a year. He would not do it. There were many nights that we were up til midnight and later, and I just was too exhausted to keep doing the dance, so BOOM he ended up in bed with me. I can remember countless nights that I wish I could just have some time to myself. Well about three weeks ago… I guess you could say my wish came true. One day, Henry said that he wanted to sleep with his dinosaurs and from that point on, he only wants to sleep in his big boy bed. I am thrilled at this goal he has accomplished, but it has brought me back to place I am not sure I want to visit. The day Henry decided he “really” was a big boy, my night was rough. I felt the emptiness and the loneliness. Not only was I his comfort, he certainly was mine. You would have thought that I would have learn from my past mistakes, but clearly I have not. Luckily, this is a stage that Henry needed to hit, and I am so proud that he has, and y’all he has not looked back. Seeing him be so grown…well for a three year old…I am already sad that he is just growing to fast.

Time really does pass in the blink of an eye. I know it is easier said than done, believe me, but please when it comes to your kids let nothing have you wishing for the next stage, next step, next anything. Relish in the beauty that is right in front of you, even when it is challenging; especially when it is challenging. They grow too fast, and before you know it they are gone.

“The journey matters as much as the destination.” ~Michelle Dockery

K. Marin