Whose running this show?

When you look back at your year, my hope for you is that you see the lowest you have been, and pat yourself on the back for the progress you have made. Too many of us take on resolutions that are unattainable and unnecessary. We focus in on the superficial aspect of everything and forgot to love that we have. It is easy to see this when you have experienced great loss. You’re prospective shifts and makes it easier to see that what you have is enough. It makes you grateful for the memories and blessing you have rather than constantly seeking more or to change. There is nothing wrong with make a life style decision to become healthier or renewing you connection with your religion, but make sure you are making the choice based on need and not want.

Unfortunately, we live in a broken world and emphasis is being put on the wrong things. Negativity is thriving and running rampant in peoples minds. It is painting a unrealistic picture of ourselves, and it is hard to ignore. Society has certain standards for a woman/man to be considered attractive. It has created division where there should be unity. Everyone is dealing with self loathing and struggling with guilt or grief. When you stop, slow down your thoughts, and attempt to clear your mind…you’ll be amazed at what you find. Triggers that cause your pain or stress will be revealed, memories that you thought forgotten of all the great times will rush to the surface, and you will begin to see clearly. As someone who has been struggling with depression, anxiety, and grief over the loss of my husband, that negativity was weighing heavy on my soul. I found reasons why I wasn’t enough for anyone. I began to believe all my doubt and fears were my reality. It was a nasty downward Spiral. I rode that nasty, gut slinging coaster for a better part of a year. I can’t explain what happened that made me just stop, but when I did… WOW!!! The realization that my fears and doubts were not my reality at all. I am always enough for my son and that is all I can ask for. I do my best to deal with the hand that I have been dealt and I get up each day and conquer! Does this mean that I never feel that anxiety , depression, or grief… (pardon my French) HELL No! Those emotions and feeling are my new normal, the difference is that they no longer control me.

We have a choice to make, and my friends it is the most difficult one you can make. You have to decide whether your circumstances/ pressure of society will break you or if you will daily choose to rise above those fears and worries. I say this is a difficult choice because it takes constant and consistent work. By recognizing the troubles, trials, and tribulations I have endured put the power back in my corner.I am running the show! I have moments where those things surface, but they don’t stay long. I implore you to consider this when thinking about your “New Year’s Resolution”. Instead of trying to change yourself or do more or less of something, look deeper and make the choice to be in charge! See the progress you have made and be proud of where you are! Continue in the path of positivity and productivity. Remember that you are always enough! Whose ready to take the plunge? Can you handle the responsibility and work that comes with it? One person can not change the world, but we can help those around us, and that is the way we fix what is broken!

K. Marin