Anytime we see someone going through something difficult, we tend to stay safe and use generic statements. For example, “ You are just so strong. I don’t know how you do it.” It is meant to be a comfort and assurance, but, for me, it’s a frustrating phrase. There are many situations that we are faced with that make us uncomfortable, dealing with loss seems to be the most common. I say most common because a loss encompasses so many things (death of someone or something, a terminal diagnosis, etc). The list just goes on and on. We have to remember that, it is difficult to truly know what someone is struggling with. Here is something to keep in mind. Please understand that this is only my view. Strength is not simply a trait we inherit. It is a choice!
I know this sounds crazy, but trust me…it will make sense in the end. When I look at all the choices I had to make this one is ,by far, the most difficult. The choice to be strong all the time requires copious amount of energy daily, and that is what makes it the hardest. No matter what your burdens are you have to make that conscious choice every single day. As I sit here writing this one, I am giggling, and it is total a nervous giggle. From the moment that our lives changed forever I knew I didn’t have a choice… I had to be strong for Henry, for our family, and for our friends. I spent some much time being strong for everyone else, that I forgot to save some of that strength for me. There is a quote that I read one day that reminded me to be strong for me. I am not sure who wrote it, but it really helped me realize a few things. “It’s your road, and yours alone. Others will walk with you, but they can not walk it for you.” The moment that I read that quote I knew how to keep moving forward. I have to simply put one foot in front of the other. In order to continue to grow and to face the challenges I just have to keep moving. I have many friends and family that help provide me with the respite needed to have a mini recharge. Being strong doesn’t mean doing it alone! Strength is knowing when you need a moment to regroup. Strength is showing your child that you will spend as much time with them as possible even thought you have other things to do. Strength is admitting that you need help. Strength is knowing when you have been beaten. Strength is getting up and moving along, even when it feels like you are losing.
It isn’t about hiding your emotions… it is about embracing them. This doesn’t mean that you are going to stumble in your journey. Man, I stumble multiple times a day! As long as you are willing to put in the effort and pick yourself back up, you will overcome. I always considered vulnerability and strength to be opposites, when in fact you cannot have one with out the other. When you are willing to open yourself up and express the emotions or feelings, you are become stronger. By opening up and talking you might find the answer you seek. Parenting is a constant struggle… or at least it is in my house! HA. This little dude is so stinking smart and such a problem solver, he test my resolve everyday. He is my why. He provides me a constant reminder why I make that choice everyday. Even though he is constantly testing the limits and making his personality known, he provides me with so much love and laughter that energy spent each day is completely worth it.
So is strength a superpower?